Sportsnet Slays with Provocative Pregame Raptors Hype Video 😮

Link to the video

I commend everyone involved, their work was astounding!
The best hype video – got all of our hearts pounding!
This piece delivered pristine production all-around:
The visuals, writing, voice-over, music and sounds.  

The most notable feature was that it was so blunt,

There was a method to the madness, not just a stunt.
This was truly provocative, everyone was panned:
The media, players, coaches and even the fans.
It was all justified though, a brilliant plan.

They called out our All-Stars for leaving:
Tracy McGrady, Vince Carter, Chris Bosh,
The frankness was raw and disbelieving:
Seasoned journalists exclaimed, “Oh My Gosh!”

The video also took aim at our two most recent flames:
The Face of the Franchise, DeMar, and the Coach of the Year, Dwane.
This was copywriting at its best – amplifying the pain!


Most importantly, it also gave us hope for this season,
A great team added Kawhi Leonard; that’s the main reason.
Although he is a man shrouded in mystery,
He’s also the best player in our history!

We should believe in ourselves, our team, our city,
Instead of dwelling on supposed inferiorities.
As Masai also wisely preached, “We should move past that.”
Kawhi had the first, let’s hope he also has the last laugh.



Photos via Sportsnet

The Newest Krispy Kreme Fiend 🍩

This was my first time trying Krispy Kreme,

This fact alone is extremely obscene!

Having lived all these years in this world,

Never bothered to give it a whirl.

I have a good friend who will always go nuts,

At the mere mention of Krispy Kreme donuts!

He was the one always bugging me to try them,

So it’s no surprise he ended up buying them!

He kept raving about how they were so delicious,

His Krispy Kreme devotion almost seemed religious!

In case you were wondering, I did not eat all of these! 😛

I started with the Original Glazed;

Krispy Kreme’s classic, the one that trailblazed.

It also provides the critical foundation,

For most of their other circular creations.

It is the one that is most recommended;

I concur, I definitely commend it!

The first bite was heavenly, like a christening

The hype was for real; I regret not listening!

Yes, the donut was sweet but not too overwhelming,

I was able to eat much more, that’s the most telling.

My main gripe? All the artificial colours and flavours.

But when it tastes this sublime? Just forget it and savour!

The next two were Original but with some wrinkles:

Both glazed with chocolate, the second was dipped in sprinkles.

Although they were both still good in their own ways,

They masked the taste of the Original Glazed.

Cake Batter was topped with confetti bits,
So many textures—a certified hit!
The donut itself was soft and chewy,
While the Kreme filling was soft and gooey.
The colourful bits then added a crunch,
A triple threat of textures in each munch.

The plan was to save half of it for later,
It wasn’t something my body could wait for!
So I devoured the rest of it in that sitting.
Krispy Kreme is so satisfying and addicting,
It is a new habit that I won’t soon be quitting!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The King of Kit Kats 👑

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

An Ode to Ozymandias 🙌

Today marks the five year anniversary of the best television episode I have ever witnessed: Breaking Bad’'s Ozymandias.

Note: I typically use a couplet, or if I’m feeling really inspired, an alternate rhyme scheme for my stanzas. Given the intensity of the episode, I decided to use (mostly) monorhyme to mimic the pulsating heartbeat I had while watching it.

=============================================

Season 5B was Breaking Bad’s absolute apex.

Of this batch, the magnum opus? Ozymandias.

It tied many plot points together, it was seamless:

The opening scene’s pilot flashback was ingenious,

Hank’s final scene was legendary, it left me speechless,

Walt’s confession to Jesse about Jane was the meanest.

Marie’s talk at the car wash left me feeling depressed.

Walt’s barrel roll had me rolling: a needed recess!

The White family knife fight was viscerally grievous,

Walt’s motto of “We’re a family” never did mean less.

There was so much destruction, it was almost fiendish:

Seeing Jesse in captivity made me squeamish,

Walt’s call with Skyler—Heisenberg’s a goddamn genius.

It was so incredibly intense, it made me breathe less!

A perfect hour of television—simply the best!

Always Late w/ Katie Nolan

True to its title, Always Late w/ Katie Nolan (Always Late) premiered well, late, almost two hours after its scheduled start time of 9pm on Wednesday, September 5th on ESPN+. I woke up in the middle of the night, noticed the show finally posted and remarked to Nolan that as much as I was wanted to watch the show in my state of sleep deprivation, it deserved my full attention. She then replied that she’d like to hear my thoughts on it, so here we are.

Before I even clicked play, the first thing that caught my attention was the show’s runtime. Clocking in at 32 minutes, Always Late falls squarely between the standard runtimes of 20 and 40 minutes for half-hour and hour-long shows. It is good to see that Always Late is taking full advantage of its digital platform on ESPN+ and is unburdened by traditional television norms.


Monologue

Always Late started off with a strong monologue, with an array of jokes that covered all the major active professional and collegiate sports leagues. The plethora of punchlines incorporated references from pop culture, politics as well as some of the not-safe-for work variety, which were delivered with Nolan’s trademark snark and humour.

However, I was hoping for a grander introduction considering it was the show’s debut episode. Furthermore, a common criticism of late night television shows is that they sometimes seem too similar, so opening with a less traditional segment might have been beneficial. As such, if Always Late really wanted to start off with a news-oriented piece, I believe that the Emotional Pie Charts segment would have been a better and more memorable choice.


Main Story (Legalized Sports Gambling)

Always Late employed excellent use of misdirection here, as what seemingly started off as an NFL piece pivoted into a deep dive on the state of legalized sports gambling in the US. They did a great job of keeping the material light by impeccably integrating relevant videos and an abundance of amusing lines (I could make a Top 10 list of best jokes from this segment alone!). I actually learned a lot from this piece, with the main takeaway being that legalized sports gambling is about as clear as the NFL’s Catch Rule. 


For the Record with Victor Cruz
  

This segment was smartly constructed even though it was primarily a physical comedy showcase. The record they were aiming for, putting 32 t-shirts on another person within a minute, coincided with the number of NFL teams (which was also debuting this week). Additionally, Nolan cleverly counted down by shouting “thirty-two, one” in place of the traditional “three-two-one”. 

Nolan seemed the most comfortable here out of all the segments. Instead of reading from a teleprompter, she was allowed to read and play off of the situation, enabling her extraordinary effervescence to take centre stage.

My only gripe was the subpar sound – it was not as clear as the rest of the episode and had an echo to it. Despite this, the endearing segment still surpassed expectations.


Emotional Pie Charts

Essentially a more detailed and personalized monologue, this segment brought greater nuance to the news. It provided a platform for Nolan to showcase several sharp and funny perspectives per topic, rather than the standard singular punchline in monologues, thus delivering much more depth. To make this segment more resonant with the younger demographic, Always Late could pair each emotion with an emoji/gif/meme.


Chicken Fingers in Soda

Unlike those chicken fingers, this piece felt undercooked. Although I understand the main purpose of the segment was to re-enact Greenfield's viral moment from the US Open, as a food critic I was hoping they would delve into some discourse on the soda-soaked chicken.

It was also the only piece that felt rushed, which was attributable to the segment’s shortness and the fact that they didn’t really seem to treat Greenfield like a guest (they made her stand the whole time!). However, the segment was almost saved entirely by the uproarious caption that they used to introduce Greenfield (screenshot above). 


Good Athletes, Bad Actors

As its title suggests, it was an entertaining compilation of cringe-worthy acting from athletes in various commercials. This short clip served its purpose as a transitional piece between main segments.


NBA 2K19 Launch Party

Always Late definitely saved its funniest bit for last – this prank was a certified riot! This side-splitting segment was studded with star power, as it featured numerous current and former NBA players. They passed their trash talk to Nolan, who gamely kept her composure while relaying the belly-aching barbs to the gamers and celebrities in attendance. Photos on Twitter seemed to suggest that there was unused material from this event, so here’s hoping for another instalment, even if it’s just in the form of outtakes.


Final Thoughts

Although I had a few minor quibbles, the debut of Always Late was enjoyable overall. Nolan’s thank you to the audience also best represents my thoughts about the show: “It’s so cool that you’re here, it makes me happy!”


(Screenshots captured via ESPN+ Stream and YouTube)

(Ragusa) Blonds Have More Fun

Ever since I first heard about it a couple of years ago, the idea of blond chocolate has intrigued me. On the one hand, I am a white chocolate connoisseur, so almost any decent variation will pique my interest. On the other hand, I am generally averse to caramel. I find it to be superfluously sweet and overpowering, even when accompanied by chocolate and nuts.

I recently met with a friend for a “Sweets Swap,” where we exchanged and sampled a smorgasbord of sweets. We both raved about the Ragusa Blond, and it inspired me to write this review.

An interesting aside - “...Bloch discovered blond chocolate during a trip to Quebec at the beginning of 2013. Impressed...Bloch asked his team in charge of innovation to produce a Ragusa Blond.” Go Canada Go! 🇨🇦

👀 Appearance

The version I purchased was entitled “For Friends” (no relation to the classic TV show). This name is derived from the fact the chocolate has been conveniently split into 12 individually wrapped bite-sized pieces that are perfect for sharing with one’s friends, which is exactly what transpired during my Sweets Swap. The bright, bold packaging is definitely eye-catching and is helped by the enlarged product photographs that show off its terrific texture (more on that later).


🍽️ Taste

The richness of the Ragusa Blond is the first thing that hits me. This richness is probably also the reason why despite registering “only” 48 grams of sugar per 100g on the sweetness spectrum, it tastes noticeably sweeter than that. It ventures very close to being too sweet although luckily it doesn’t quite cross that line.

In terms of flavour, while white chocolate can sometimes taste synthetic, Ragusa Blond tastes authentic (the website promotes the product as being "100% Natural"). The caramel infusion is incredible and elevates the white chocolate to heavenly heights. The simplest way I can describe the Ragusa Blond is that they took the best attributes of white chocolate and infused it with the optimal amount of caramel flavour, conceiving a truly unique tasting confection. 

The hazelnuts were not flavoured at all but given the fact that the chocolate component was sufficiently sweet, this was definitely the right decision.


⚖️ Execution
As awesome as it is taste-wise to eat a Ragusa Blond, it is an equally enjoyable experience texture-wise. The super soft, creamy chocolate melts in your mouth like butter. Meanwhile, the hazelnuts' crunchiness provide the perfect compliment to the chocolate's smoothness.


💰 Cost
I purchased this on sale for $3.99; the regular price was $7.99. The best compliment I can pay is that I would pay the regular price without any hesitation.



🏆 Verdict
Correction from the previous sentence – the best compliment I can bestow Blond is that it is one of the best chocolates I have ever eaten in my entire life! (My friend wholeheartedly agreed – he bought his own pack right afterwards!). The only reason I docked half a star is because of its richness. After about three pieces, I'm sufficiently satisfied. Although that is probably a good thing, since these are so sublime that I want to savour them until the end of time!

4.5 Sweets Swaps out of 5

⏩ Epilogue
Not to be outdone by my friend, I was so bedazzled by (this) blond chocolate that I have ordered seven other variations to try out. It’s safe to say there will be (more) blond (reviews to come)!

Under the Radar

As the full NBA schedule was recently released, much attention was devoted to the respective returns of the superstars that switched teams (LeBron, Kawhi, DeMar, etc) and deservedly so. However, there are also some under the radar match-ups that are worth consideration.

For me, the Trae Young/Luka Doncic duels should be super spicy. Both rookies have a considerable contingent of critics to disprove already, with many believing that the Hawks gave up too much in their trade for Trae, whereas the Mavericks’ Doncic has been saddled with similar skepticism that most top European prospects are faced with. And of course, the fact that they were traded for each other just increases the intrigue!

The NBA season cannot start soon enough!